Bye-bye 肉 (bye-bye yok, bye-bye meat. I.e. Bingo wings.) Yes! When the old ladies wave bye-bye, the bingo wings are a-flapping! Like meat.
Oh how I laughed.
For no other reason, this is why you should learn Cantonese! This, and of course to piss off the Chinese government. That goes without saying.
Today's Chinese zodiac animal is the Horse, a venerated figure in Chinese painting. Strangely enough, the Chinese don't eat horse meat, which is a shame because it's delicious. My only sojourn in Kazakhstan, for example, was largely saved by that country's cuisine with its many ways to prepare horse meat. But more of that later. Here is the Horse:
People born in a year of the Horse are extremely animated, active and energetic. Horses love to be in a crowd, and they can usually be seen on such occasions as concerts, theater performances, meetings, sporting events, and parties.
With a deft sense of humor, Horses are masters of repartee. They love to take center stage and delight audiences everywhere.
People born in a year of the Horse have a pleasant, amiable, easy-going disposition. With good humor and geniality, they are extremely comfortable to get along with as they have the ability to instantly put people at ease.
Horses are very quick-witted and are right in there with you before you have had the chance to finish what you are saying; they know what you are thinking even before you've said it. All these traits guarantee their popularity and a large following of friends.
"Oh, this is probably the cook's cat!"
"This is something they found in the dustbin!"
"Is this bat?" were the kind of comments going around the cheap restaurants of Beijing where Swedes would argue over a 1US$ bill for a meal and beer for four.
Me, I loved everything about Chinese food from the get-go and got right into chopsticks, eating from bowls and eating with one hand and smoking with the other (yuuuuck) because when in Rome. Then as now I only had one stipulation for trying or refusing new food: It must LOOK delicious. And that, let's face it, is almost all Chinese food! And if in addition it's something weird and vaguely adventurous, bring it on.
So the first time I was offered snake gallbladder wine, in Guangzhou in the early 90s, I naturally said "Bring it on"! It's supposed to be soothing for the throat and excellent for smokers. How was I to know that the cook would kill the snake, take out its gallbladder and crush it into Chinese rice wine at the table?
But hey, adventure is adventure. Now I must mention that Chinese rice wine is among the most revolting things I have ever put in my mouth, so I thought a crushed, raw gallbladder would only improve it. Yes and no, it turned out. Still revolting, but more heroic! And it really did soothe the throat, enabling me to smoke more.
This photo is one of my dearest possessions. It's an advert for snake wine; not gallbladder but the whole snake putrefying in the spirit for years - the longer the better - until your mouth is full of scales when you drink. "Drink regularly for good health" it says. Hmmm. If stuff is healthier the worse it tastes, snake wine must be among the top 5. This is a drink that should be chucked down as quickly as possible followed by litres of another drink, any drink, like thinner. But healthy!
Today's animal of the Chinese zodiac is the Snake, not vilified in Chinese culture as in the western ones. Food is food. Yes, snake meat is also delicious, did I mention that?
In Chinese culture, the Snake is the most enigmatic animal among the 12 zodiac animals. People born in a year of the Snake are supposed to be the most intuitive.
Snakes tend to act according to their own judgments while remaining private and reticent. They are determined to accomplish their goals and hate to fail.
Snakes represent the symbol of wisdom. They are intelligent and wise. They are good at communication but say little. Snakes are usually regarded as great thinkers.
Snakes are materialistic and love keeping up with the Joneses. They love to possess the best of everything but they have no patience for shopping.
Snake people prefer to work alone; therefore, they are easily stressed. If they seem unusually stressed, it is best to allow them their own space and time to return to normal.
I can't guarantee any snake meat or snake wine at my Chinese dinners, but I can guarantee good food! And if you take Cantonese lessons from me, I can guarantee a fun time with lots of learning thrown in.
The Dragon is the only animal in the Chinese zodiac that is not real. Is that the reason why it's the most popular, and why many women when pregnant in a Dragon year try to arrange a Cesarian so the child can be born in that year before it tips over into the year of the Snake?
Did you know that famed kung fu (pronounced GUNG fu) practitioner Bruce Lee was known as Lei Siu Long, 李小龍, Lei Little Dragon, in Hong Kong and China? How it must have vexed them that he was born in the USA and later moved there. And maybe that he was born in the year of the Rabbit? Or maybe I'm reading into it.
Anyway, Dragons are supposed to be the coolest of the cool, or, as China highlights has it:
The Chinese dragon is the most vital and powerful beast in the Chinese zodiac, although Dragons have an infamous reputation for being a hothead and possessing a sharp tongue.
In ancient times, people thought that Dragons were best suited to be leaders of the world with their character traits of dominance and ambition.
Gifted with innate courage, tenacity, and intelligence, Dragons are enthusiastic and confident. They are not afraid of challenges, and willing to take risks.
However, Dragons are sometimes regarded as aggressive, and angry Dragons are not open to criticism. They don't consider themselves irritating and arrogant. Instead of following tradition, they strive for a smooth future.
龍 LONG (dragon) is my favourite character. Beautiful, and great to write. The Mandohooligans have completely mutilated the character of course. I bet it was one of the first ones they crippled in 1949 and onwards in their relentless quest to obliterate the Chinese culture.
Do you want to get a Chinese name - Dragon for example - and find out more about the non-communist Chinese culture? Then:
In the olden days Chinese New Year was a strange time in China, especially in the cities. (Imagine a Chinese city empty!) The festival lasts a whole month, enough time for all the people working up to three days' train journey away from their ancestral village, to get home. With hundreds of millions of people on the move at the same time, travel was impossible for me and my Cantonese students, but of course we went anyway, only to find places deserted and everything closed. Think western Christmas but for weeks.
But during the late 90s a new and less traditional culture started spreading around the countryside and smaller towns, especially in the south. People went home for the holidays, but instead of being locked up for days and weeks with the family, following strict traditions, the young people went out and partied seemingly non stop. All the villages were decorated with lanterns and lucky door poems, shops and restaurants stayed open late, and firecrackers went off day and night, turning pavements and roads into a red carpet. Chinese New Year became a party central and huge money maker.
Unfortunately CNY marks the change from winter to spring and is normally accompanied by grey skies and rain, but it was still damn photogenic and perfect for 'language seminars' as I called the adventure trips/photo safaris with Cantonese thrown in.
I can't remember what year this photo was taken, exactly, but it certainly was a good year full of hope, a year in which we could plan not only what we were doing the next week, but the next month! The next six months. And that plan was: Travel in China as much as possible...
I miss China!
Today's animal is the Rabbit, of which I know nothing! I don't think I've even eaten one. But here goes, according to China Highlights' indomitable Fercility Jiang:
Rabbits tend to be gentle, quiet, elegant, and alert as well as quick, skillful, kind, patient, and very responsible. However, they might be superficial, stubborn, melancholy, and overly-discreet.
Males who belong to the Rabbit zodiac sign always treat people politely, with a gentle smile that makes people feel that they are credible and sincere.
When encountering tough difficulties, they are never discouraged but instead remain persistent in their endeavors to find solutions. This means they eventually achieve enviable success.
Females belonging to the Rabbit zodiac sign, apart from having a pretty and demure appearance, have a pure heart.
Rabbits are faithful to those around them but are reluctant to reveal their minds to others, and have a tendency to escape reality. They are too cautious and conservative, which means they miss good opportunities.
Hm! Does it sound like anyone I know?
Whatever! It's just the Chinese zodiac, innit, and is supposed to be a description of everyone born in the years 2011, 1999, 1987, 1975, 1963, 1951, 1939 and 1927. That's all.
With the advertising slogan "Hold naboen vekk, få deg en hekk" (keep the neighbour away, get a hedgerow today) we are ploughing through the Norwegian market like a combine harvester! Coool.
Another thing that likes the green is of course the Rabbit. However, that is the fourth animal in our series Animals in the Chinese zodiac, and a favourite snack of the animal coming up (February 1st) - the mighty Tiger. According to Chinese Highlights and others who dabble in feng shui and the like, the year of the Tiger won't be any good for Tigers, but then again you can choose not to believe it and live normally.
The Tiger, according to China Highlights, written by Fercility Jiang:
Years:2022, 2010, 1998, 1986, 1974, 1962, 1950, 1938
The Tiger is known as the king of all beasts in China. The zodiac sign Tiger is a symbol of strength, exorcising evils, and braveness. Many Chinese kids wear hats or shoes with a tiger image of for good luck.
People born in a year of the Tiger are brave, competitive, unpredictable, and confident. They are very charming and well-liked by others. But sometimes they are likely to be impetuous, irritable, and overindulgent.
With stubborn personalities and tough judgment, Tigers work actively and express themselves boldly, doing things in a high-handed manner. They are authoritative and never go back on what they have said.
With great confidence and indomitable fortitude, they can be competent leaders. They will not make preparations for anything, but can handle anything that comes along.
Will not make preparations, eh? That's no good when it comes to Sichuan cooking. I'm planning a big Chinese New Year feast even now, and not only in my head! The larders are groaning under the weight of noodles, condiments and rice. I'm ready! Ish! More details later.
Sichuan is far from Guangdong province, the cradle of Cantonese, but her food is so, so much better than the bland and colourless Canto slop. But the Cantonese language is the best there is, and not only in China!